This year, Mother’s Day is weighing heavily on my mind and in my heart. There is so much to say but it’s not my intention to make this a dismal or over-emotional post. Yet what I had to say kept invading my thoughts, pestering me until I finally wrote it all down in words.
MY FRIEND. I would first like to dedicate this post to a dear friend of mine whose mother passed away just a few days ago. To have this happen just before Mother’s Day must be heart wrenching. As my friend recounted the story of what happened, I desperately held my tears back in an attempt to remain strong for her. I didn’t need to be the one between the two of us to break down. And then I thought, why am I even crying right now? Yes, I met my friend’s mother on several occasions but I never really spoke with her. Then I understood that it was my sadness for my friend and what she must be going through that prompted those unwanted tears. She was hurting and so therefore, I was too. With love and support from her friends and family, including her own son, this Mother’s Day will be not be spent in sadness, but in gratitude for what she had and continues to have.
MY MOTHER. For the last few days, I have been reflecting on what it means that my mother is still with us in this world. Or is she? Is she simply an empty vessel in a nursing home bed, lost to whatever it is that has replaced her consciousness as a result of this ugly disease called Alzheimer’s? Or is she still somewhere in there, holding on to memories of the good times we shared with her, not wanting to let go because that’s all she has in her life now? I miss my mother terribly and I wish I could have just one day when she is lucid because I want to tell her so badly about Dan and Roxie and to tell her about my writing and my students. I know in my heart she would be so pleased and so proud. I just want to share with her again.
MYSELF. Lastly, I think about my own flirtations with motherhood each time I embrace my puppy Roxie. Each time we lock eyes and I seem to be the center of her world makes me feel just a little like what I think a mother must feel with her own offspring. I am in no way implying that caring for a dog is the same as caring for human life. But having and loving Roxie put a sort of selfless love in my heart that makes me feel like I am a better human being because of it. I call her my little baby and I truly feel like she is. She needs my protection, my nurturing and my love and I am so happy to be the one to provide all of that for her.
I would like to end this post with a loving recognition to those who have lost their mothers and those who never knew their mothers. I would especially like to acknowledge all mothers, not discounting stepmothers, childless mothers, mother figures, and mothers of fur babies. They truly deserve recognition on a daily basis. Life would never be complete without these people in our lives. 💖